May 06, 2008
The post we have all been waiting for.....
Mr Spicy took the afternoon off so he would be with me when we got the beta results and while he was on his way home, I finally gave into the urge to pee on a stick. But I couldn't look at it. I made him go in the bathroom and look at it first. When he showed me the two lines, I could NOT believe it. I have NEVER seen TWO LINES!!!!! So we did another regular test and the one digital I had (given to me by a friend, leftover from her positive results). And, well...you can see for yourself. Wow. Seriously. Wow.
Then, our nurse, Amber called. She got us both on the phone and let us know that our beta number was great, very strong, at 197. Of course, I still have to go back on Thursday for the 2nd beta to make sure it is doubling as it should. So, I haven't completely exhaled just yet.
I will be starting Prometrium vaginal suppositories today and we'll get my progesterone results tomorrow (they don't run the progesterone test until they get a positive - so it wasn't run until this afternoon). I will go in Thu, then Monday to recheck hormone levels, and then our ultrasound will be either the 22nd or the 23rd. Again, wow.
Seriously. Is this really happening? I am in complete and utter shock! I literally cannot wrap my brain around this!!!!! I feel totally clueless now about being pregnant. I was literally in the midst of making myself a sandwich - you know, forbidden lunch meat and all - when Amber called. I had completely forgotten that lunch meat was off limits during pregnancy. Now I am terrified I am unwittingly doing any number of other idiotic anti-pregnancy things I am not even aware of! Yikes!
When we first began trying 2 and a half years ago, I was reading pregnancy books and websites like crazy - but as we neared a year of trying I put those books and websites away and began devouring infertility literature, and websites, and blogs. So now, I feel completely ignorant of what I am supposed to do or not do..... Oh well, just more for me to learn and obsess about and research. :)
I am so excited and so in shock I don't even have words to describe it. We have waited so so long for this. I cannot believe we are here. We are going to be parents. In a way, we already are.
Thank you to EVERYONE - all of you who emailed, commented, called, to wish us well, to let us know you were praying, that you were holding out hope for us. It is no small thing. And I have no words to thank you adequately. But thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I have been listening to "Sweet Sweet Baby" By Michelle Featherstone all day but cannot figure out how to get the song here to share with you.
I already love this baby (or babies) so much. I already feel like my entire heart is on the line - out there for all the world to see. I have never known a vulnerability quite like this.
I have never known a joy quite like this either.
Welcome little pepper(s), welcome.
We are so happy you have come, we cannot wait to meet you.
You are wanted and loved.
You always have been - you always will be.