When I first started this blog, when we first made the decision to do IVF - I knew that there were a few, if not many, people in my life who didn't agree with what we were doing. I knew that for moral, ethical, personal reasons, there would be those who could not or would not support us. Only one person came out and said this to me directly, but I suspected there were others.
So, when we started down this fork in the road I sent out an email to friends and family letting them know that we were doing this, we would understand if they could not support us, and that I would be writing a blog where they could read updates on the process if they wanted to. If they wanted nothing to do with this - fine, you don't have to read. I understand. I do.
Now - I find out that not only are people who are not supportive reading this, but they are reading this to ridicule me, this process, and this blog. In addition to this, they are openly inviting friends to read it and do the same.
This really shouldn't matter to me - and on some level it doesn't. I know that some bloggers have had to make their blogs private for this very reason. But, I don't want to do that. There are some really amazing women who I have met through this process who I never would have met if I had kept a private blog.
I am hurt, yes. But mostly, I am perplexed. If you think I am "overly dramatic" or "stupid" or "irrelevant" - if you really don't care about me or what I am writing about, then why do you read this? Is your life truly that small that you need to take pleasure from tearing another person down for sharing her feelings, for offering and asking for support, for documenting a sacred and important time in her life?
I guess I just do not understand your motivation on any level. I do not understand insulting someone, laughing at them behind their back, cheapening something meaningful to them. I do not understand meanness for the sake of meanness.
If you do not like me? I am totally fine with that.
If you do not like my blog? Even more fine with that.
If you think I am full of shit and you don't agree with IVF? Whatever.
But then, really, why are you coming here? There are people you can identify with all over the internet. Why spend your time here of all places? I have made no secret what this blog is about or what kind of person I am. If that is not your cup of tea, why do you come here?
I am not asking you to understand, I am not asking for your support. I am not asking for you to like me.
I am just asking you, nicely, to please find somewhere else to go.
or, actually, on second thought....stick around. You may think I am dramatic, over-emotional, self-absorbed, ridiculous, and delusional now - but you have truly seen nothing yet! Once these pregnancy hormones really kick into gear? Watch out! But hey, don't say I didn't warn you.
(Seriously though? it's a big wide internet out there.....you might want to check it out. Really. Ready. set. GO!)