So much to say......but for now I am thinking of only one thing. That Zane would be healthy.
He developed pathologic hemolytic jaundice shortly after birth. This type of jaundice is much more rare than the common physiological jaundice often seen in newborns. His particular case is caused by him having A+ blood (already an A student!) and my having O+ blood. Some of my antibodies entered his bood stream during the birth and began breaking down his red blood cells causing elevated bilirubin levels.
In the hospital the tests showed that his body was doing its best to respond by making new red blood cells but it is a slow process and his levels were steadily increasing. He remained under "bili-lights" and on a bili-blanket for the three days we were there. We also supplemented his feedings with donor breast milk in an effort to flush more bilirubin from his system. On his last day in the hospital the levels began to stabilize and even decrease slightly.
Yesterday, our first day home, we took him back to be re-tested. His levels had increased again but had remained below the level where treatment is critical.
Today, he is more yellow and a little more sleepy, both signs that his bilirubin may be on the rise again. We are bringing him in this afternoon for testing again.
I am a wreck. I hate that he has been poked and prodded and messed with every day of his little life, I hate that he might need those damn lights again (he HATES them!), I hate that I can't just settle in at home for two consecutive days and love on my boy without interference - but mostly I hate that anything might possibly be wrong with him. I am a crying, worrying mess over here just thinking about it.
Please send lots of prayers, good vibes, thoughts, whatever you've got we'll take it - for Zane to be healthy, for his levels to be coming down, and for his momma to be strong.
p.s. I know this is hardly on the scale of really scary stuff - but for me....well, it's big, and it is freaking me out. I just desperately want him to be ok.