40 weeks...

...and no baby yet.

We saw Dr. Z (the male Dr. who is the head of the practice) yesterday because Dr. Honey is out of town (again!). As he had me half-naked up on the table he said, "So. I generally don't like to let women go past 41 weeks. How about we schedule you for an induction this weekend?" I think my jaw dropped, literally. I was totally unprepared for this since Dr. Honey had originally said that as long as all was well with baby we could go to 42 weeks. Thankfully, Dr. Z is observant and before I had a chance to voice my opinion he took one look at my face and said, "You don't want an induction, do you?" And I replied that really, I would rather avoid it if possible.

So - he asked us to come back on Friday for a NST. If all goes well, I will see Dr. Honey again next Tue ( 41 weeks) and she and I can discuss what she thinks about all this. This is assuming Poblano doesn't make his grand entrance by then, of course.

I am not against doing an induction if need be, for medical reasons. I just don't want to do one just because I'm running a little late. Myself and both my sisters came a bit late into this world (one of them at 43 weeks!!!), so I think maybe it just runs in the family. Most my family can't make it anywhere on time to this day - so perhaps he is just following in our footsteps. Not to mention that a large majority of first time moms go past their due dates. So, as long as Poblano looks good and healthy and I am ok - I want to give my body a chance to do what it knows how to do when it is ready and this baby a chance to come when it is right for him.

This doesn't mean I am against helping things along, or clearing the path, if you will. I have been a walking fiend and even did the stairmaster at the gym last night. I did yoga this morning. I saw my acupuncturist this afternoon (she marked the points she triggered so Mr. S can stimulate them at home). I have a tea from my herbalist that is supposed to help ripen my cervix and tone my uterus. She also gave me some homeopathics as well. They are not to induce, just to support the uterus in producing more efficient contractions. I am still on the fence about those though. I am taking Evening Primose Oil, doing warm baths, stretching, doing my "optimal fetal positioning exercises" and yes - having lots of sex (sorry for the TMI). I am also trying to remember to do regular nipple stimulation. Mr. Spicy had me doing it in the car while we drove to the gym last night. Quite the show for the other motorists, I am sure.

But despite all the above (and let me be clear here that I am not religious with any of those things), I think honestly the most important thing for me to do right now is to connect with our baby and to relax and admit that this, like so much else, is really out of my control. No matter what I do - he will come when he is ready. My acupuncturist reminded me that this is one of my life lessons, to learn to let go and understand that things are not in my control. Even after all the work I did with this during our long struggle with IF, I still don't like being in this place. I do not like walking into the unknown. And yet, I will do it again and again and I will struggle with it all the way - because I know that there is so much for me to learn here. And I know there is so much freedom to be had in accepting that I do not have ultimate control. And I think motherhood will require me to face this lesson continually in deeper and harder ways, probably for the rest of my life.

So....we wait. Which depending on the day can feel just fine or completely agonizing. On Sunday I was in bed most of the day and in tears because I was just completely worn out from not sleeping and the aches and pains and the acid reflux and the anxiety and did I mention the not sleeping? I literally went about a week sleeping at most 2-3 hours a night, and even those would be interrupted hours. Then, I would be wide awake the rest of night, only to collapse from exhaustion at about 7am to get another 2 hours of sleep or so. It was seriously making me completely wigged out. Then last night, I slept. I slept. I slept the whole night! (With about a dozen trips to the bathroom of course) I actually kind of freaked when I woke up this morning. I thought surely something was wrong and nervously did a kick count. Poblano was moving just fine. We were both fine. I just felt.....rested. And it was amazing. So, needless to say I am in much much better spirits today. I left the house at 10am for yoga and spent the whole day out running errands and getting stuff done and I felt almost normal again. So today? The waiting doesn't feel so hard. But, after a day out I am tired. So I hope last night wasn't just a fluke.

But enough about me....how about some pictures of me?

Remember when I said I had very special 38 week pictures? Mr. Spicy helped me make a belly cast at 38 weeks. We laughed so hard while doing it - it was really fun. But holy freaking boobs batman! I truly had no idea till I looked at it how incredibly ridiculously huge my breasts are. A good friend of mine did a belly cast with her third pregnancy and she was thoughtful enough to hold her arms in the air while it was being applied so that her boobs would seem more perky. I really wish I would have thought of that too. Regardless. There is my 38 week form, preserved for all time. I am thinking of painting it as an early labor project. We'll see. Mr. Spicy is concerned I will want to mount it on our living room wall and terrorize our visitors with it. Just for that, I made him try it on. So now you all know what my husband might look like if he were 38 weeks pregnant. He is such a good sport! (although he did make me promise not to include his face)









And here are my 40 week belly pictures, behold the giant belly (and the recently appearing stretch marks that I am coming to terms with - ah vanity!):