September 24, 2009

The Sleep Solution...for now...

Ahhhh...thank you all so much for your words of support and advice yesterday. I really needed those. I was pretty emotional all day and it helped to hear from all of you. Thank you!

Well. I saw my therapist yesterday and spent a little time with a caring friend. Zane and I both were kind of crabby and sad yesterday - the lack of sleep taking its toll.

So. Our plan for the immediate future (I will develop a longer-term plan as I feel more rested) is that for weeknights we take shifts. Mr. Spicy takes Zane until 10:30 or 11 and I sleep in the guest room. Then I get up and come to bed and take any wakings after that. Then Mr. Spicy is on again from about 5:30am - 7:30am. For the weekend, I am going to get Zane down and then go to bed in the guest room. Then Mr. Spicy will take the whole night while I sleep (possibly with the help of some Benadryl?) . If this works it may be the first night I have slept through the night in 8 months+.

Last night we did the shifts and it worked great. I felt so much better even after just a few hours in a row and both Zane and I seemed to sleep better and be in better moods this morning. Win! I know there is still quite a deficit of sleep I need to replenish, but it feels like a good start and I feel so much better able to manage today with even that little bit of sleep.

I am excited to sleep more this weekend but also kind of dreading it. Even when Mr. Spicy has taken night shifts in the past (he used to do one or two every weekend when Zane was a newborn), I would sleep in the same room and invariably wake at least a little when Zane did. So I was still "there". Not being there when he wakes up, not knowing how he is feeling, not being there to hold him or help Mr. Spicy figure out what he needs feels really scary. But I have to let go. I know he loves his Dada and feels safe with him and I have to let go a little now and take care of me. I know I need to do this. I know. It's just hard.

So that's it. Just wanted to let y'all know that we are working on this and I hope to be doing much better soon. Thanks for saying what I needed to hear.

4 comments:

The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) said...

Oh, good! I was going to suggest the "shift" thing as one mom I know "online" has done that really succesfully. And yay for a bit of sleep! I think beneadryl's a great and really safe way to help yourself sleep on the nights when Mr. Spicy is in charge. So relieved that things are looking up!

Meg said...

Oh no. Just catching up! This must be so excruciating. Anything to get you to sleep a full night multiple times sounds so important right now. I think this solution sounds perfect for now and hopefully the rest you need is only a few hours away.

annacyclopedia said...

Oh, Spicy! I was thinking of you yesterday and just never got around to commenting. It is just so hard to be without good sleep for so long - no wonder you are feeling depleted and frustrated.

Your plan sounds like a winner already - hope it helps reset both your and Zane's rhythms and gets you into some semblance of a workable schedule.

And I will probably be coming back to read this post in 9 months or so...

Walker Family said...

I am a recent reader of your blog and think you are doing a great job. I have two beautiful boys who have been known to make my nights a test in sleepless patience. Your shift idea is very good and close to what we do as needed also. One thing I also do is use a sound machine in their rooms. I have one that does ocean wave sounds and it helps sooth them through the night. I had to search a bit to find one that goes all night and does not turn itself off but found one on amazon. Just an idea. Hang in there!