It is a new moon tonight and the beginning of a brand new month (the month that also just happens to contain my birthday and anniversary in it) so when better to sit down and write a new post and post some new belly pics?
Well.....after my last post I feel like I owe y'all a big long post about everything that's been going on with me. But all that is coming to mind right now is something that vaguely resembles a "Here's How I Spent My Summer Vacation" essay.
And it has been a big summer so far.
The poblano and I attended a few concerts together (REM, True Colors, Indigo Girls, Feist) and Mr. Spicy even made it to one with us. He and I danced the Lindy Hop together at the Feist show to "My Moon My Man" and it was a blast - although I did feel a little like a Weeble Wobble. I loved being at these shows and sharing all these meaningful and joyful experiences with our little one this way. I danced and rocked back and forth to the music imagining the poblano soaking up the vibrations, the sounds, and all my happy endorphins, while listening to me belt out songs (although very likely horribly out of tune). I already can’t wait to take the poblano to his/her first concert one day. The True Colors tour was probably my favorite show in years and being there with hundreds of people of all ages, races, religions, sexual orientations, and genders who were all focused on equality and human rights while sharing in some amazing music (B-52s, Cyndi Lauper, Joan Armatrading) was powerful in a way I can't really find words for. Looking around at all of these beautiful people and feeling this incredibly positive and loving "vibe" that was just saturating the air, I kept thinking that this was exactly the kind of experience I want to share with my child one day. I want my child to experience the power and beauty of people united in an effort to create positive change in the world by bringing themselves, who they are, their talents, their gifts, their art, their hearts.....to one place together in hope and love for humanity. I want my child to see how amazing people can be. I want my child to see how amazing s/he is and I want my child to believe it is possible to create change with love.
Being out of a job, and having trouble finding one, I decided to volunteer a bit this summer with a day camp for youth (7-13) who live in the same urban neighborhood as we do. The camp is arts-based but also deals with issues of the community and the environment. As part of my volunteer work I had the opportunity to visit the art museum and to meet our district's city councilwoman. It was so great to be "working" with kids again and getting to experience art with them just put me right back in my element. Tomorrow I finish up my volunteering by assisting at a local arts festival that benefits the non-profit that provides this day camp. This has been such a positive experience for me and I am really grateful I had the chance to spend part of my summer this way, with these kids.
We traveled earlier this summer out to the midwest to visit family. Mid-July, the favor was returned and my youngest sister and her four kids came out here to visit the big city. It was a whirlwind of a visit but it was so good to have them here and get that time with them. We all had so much fun together and they are already planning their next trip back. Then, my eight year old niece (LJ) stayed with me the last week in July. She comes out to spend a week with us each summer and it is always a really special time for me. Mr. Spicy was traveling (again) the week she was here so it was especially nice to have her spunky, creative spirit and her sweet, tender heart here to keep me company while he was away. She just left yesterday and I miss her a ton already.
Speaking of Mr. Spicy - his company was taken over in the last month by a larger company and he has been super busy with travel, meetings, and basically just proving how indispensable he is. He also took a cross-country road trip, driving with his mom in a moving truck over 2000 miles. She moved back east this summer to help care for other family members who are dealing with serious health issues. We were both a bit sad to see her go but she is already planning her trip out here to visit the poblano early next year. Oh....and just because he doesn't have enough on his plate, the Spicy Man gutted our upstairs bathroom and it is currently awaiting remodeling/ rebuilding which we will be hurrying to get done in the next 2 weeks before the British journalist, who we will be renting our bedroom to, arrives for the DNC.
I also have been applying for jobs which has been a little weird because I really only want to work up until my last month or so of pregnancy, so I am not looking for anything long term. It is hard enough to sell yourself and put yourself out there when you are looking for jobs in your chosen field, jobs you plan to stay at for years, jobs you hope to make a career out of. But putting all that effort out there to find a job you can easily walk away from in 4 months or so just feels harder in some ways. Fortunately, a friend has asked me to cover for her nanny in Aug and Sept while she is on maternity leave (the nanny, not my friend) so that will be a good start, and her next door neighbor has expressed an interest in hiring me for the same in Oct. and Nov. - so if that works out I will be in much better shape and can finally stop obsessively scanning employment ads, which will be nice.
Speaking of not working, it has been really hard to be out of work all these months. I had planned to take off during our IVF process, but thought I would be back working much sooner than this. I haven't worked a job since March! If I were home taking care of a child that would be something, but just being a "stay-at-home-wife" has felt very weird and uncomfortable to me. I like contributing financially, I like having an answer to the "What do you do?" question. Lately I just feel this big silence come over me when that question is asked......not that I am totally wasting this time - I don't think I am - but I do better when I have a little more structure to my days and I am not quite so all alone all the time. Although, this summer has felt so incredibly busy and draining at times that I can hardly imagine having added a job into the mix any sooner.... so maybe it has all been for the best. Besides, I only began making it through an entire day without multiple naps and bouts of nausea a couple of weeks ago, so.....yeah.
On top of all this there has been the roller coaster of hormones and emotions that pregnancy brings and all that fun (not so much) deep psychological and spiritual work to be done by Mr. Spicy and I as we prepare (and freak out) on our way to becoming parents. More on that to come....
If I have not sufficiently bored you already, I will now share the belly pics of the last few weeks that prove that yes, there is in fact a little someone growing in there. Which is still a fact I can barely wrap my brain around most days.
(and yes, that is a toilet sitting in the middle of the room....remember when I mentioned the "gutted" bathroom? I wasn't kidding! I suggested we leave it here and use it as a giant water bowl for the dogs....but Mr. Spicy vetoed the idea.)
(the red shirt against the red wall isn't my best artistic choice but check out those sexy maternity jeans! I will be keeping those long after pregnancy for those big thanksgiving dinners....it makes me wonder why I ever wore pants with buttons or zippers?)