17 weeks

Dear Poblano,

You have been growing inside of me for 15 weeks. All of the websites and books tell me that your bones are hardening, your heart is pumping, your lungs are practicing breathing, and you are even gulping down a little amniotic fluid and peeing - which will be excellent practice for swimming at a public pool.

You must be pretty busy in there.

It is strange to think that right now you know so much more of me than I know of you. You know when I am awake or asleep, you know how I am feeling, you know when I am talking, singing, or laughing....but I don't know any of this about you yet. Much of it I won't even learn until you arrive here on the outside. I feel a bit at the disadvantage here.

I find myself wondering about you all the time, wondering what you think of us - your parents, these booming voices you have become so familiar with by now. I wonder what you think of us when we get a little snarky with eachother, when we baby-talk to our dogs, or when your daddy makes me laugh so hard it hurts. I wonder what your favorite moments are each day. Is it when I am driving in the car singing at the top of my lungs? Is it when your daddy comes home and we engage in goofy banter back and forth? Or is it these quiet, silent moments at night when it is just you and I and everything is calm and still?

This is where I sit right now as your mama: in a state of constant wonder and curiosity. I want so much to know you. I rub my rounding belly constantly in an effort to somehow touch you, to communicate with you. I am anxiously anticipating the first time I feel you pressing back. I know already you are moving inside of me, you are kicking, flipping, swaying. But you aren't quite big enough just yet for me to feel these little signals you are sending out to me, to the world.

Be patient little one, your efforts will reach me soon. I can hardly wait.

Love always,
Mama